Does your child have attitude? You know what we mean — rude, selfish, insensitive, irresponsible, jealous, judgmental, lazy — the list goes on! Had enough? Solve it now…
An attitude is a HABIT. It’s not like a behavior that’s a quick time-out. These attitudes are your child’s operating premise for life. So new attitudes or habits we know usually take around three weeks. The reason most of our kids’ attitudes don’t go away is that we don’t use the plan long enough.
Parents play a key role in preventing their child from turning bad. It has been shown that teens who have involving and satisfying relationships with their parents are more likely to do well in school, have better social skills and have lower rates of risky/delinquent behaviors then their peers.
1.Accept your child’s basic personality, whether it’s shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored.
2.It’s never too soon or too late.
Realizing that brand-new babies begin to make the connection between what they do and what they get should solidify the idea that your 13-year-old daughter can understand the concept also. Don’t give up on her — even if she professes to “forget” or to “just not get it,” don’t buy into that. She’ll figure it out quickly if there is something in it for her — be it positive or negative.
3. Take advantage of teachable moments.
If you see an opportunity (and there’s probably at least one each day), bring it to your child’s attention. Now, that doesn’t mean that you’re constantly criticizing the kid. You’re just teaching her that making fun of her friend may lead to retaliation or at least a lessened friendship, or that getting a speeding ticket on her record will mean higher insurance premiums for years to come.
4. Know what your children are doing and with whom.
Know about their friends and their friends’ families. Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways. If they choose friends who use drugs, cut class, smoke cigarettes, or lie to their parents, then they probably do these things. Thus, to be a responsible parent, you should advise your kids to “choose their friends wisely”. LISTEN and COMMUNICATE with your child to prepare them for the next time they face peer pressure.
5. Watch out for feelings of entitlement.
Be careful that your children do not take everything for granted — make them work for their allowances and privileges so that they see that effort leads to results! If they complain that it’s unfair that they have to work more than their friends, call a family meeting to discuss why you are making such a fuss about the behavior-consequence connection and why living it is so important to your family.
6. Check your own behavior.
It’s really not a good idea to run a red light or to do one of those “rolling stops” at the stop sign. Even if you don’t get a ticket from a policeman, your kids may believe that there are two sets of rules out there — one for your family and one for the rest of the world. Remember, they are watching how you follow the rules and will most likely behave in a similar manner as they grow.
7.Praise your child often
When he or she deserves it to stretch their skills to utmost. Don’t criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child’s behavior as bad, but don’t label your child as bad. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.
8. Physical punishment?
Parents may choose to use physical punishment (such as spanking) to stop undesirable behavior. The biggest drawback to this method is that although the punishment stops the bad behavior for a while, it doesn’t teach your child to change his or her behavior. Disciplining your child is really just teaching him or her to choose good behaviors. If your child doesn’t know a good behavior, he or she is likely to return to the bad behavior. Physical punishment becomes less effective with time and can cause the child to behave aggressively. It can also be carried too far — into child abuse.
9. Don’t assume anything!
Presuming that your kids will understand the connection just by attending school or playing with the neighbourhood children is risky business. You may get lucky and have a mom or dad down the street who points out the behavior-consequence connection to your kid, but most will not. Folks tend to be reticent about disciplining other people’s children.
So if you hear that your child acted up at a friend’s house or misbehaved in school, do something about it yourself. Sure, it may be double jeopardy, but I’d rather have the idea securely instilled in your kid than take the chance of it not becoming part of her personal value system. “You can’t have a good day with a bad attitude, and you can’t have a bad day with a good attitude.” —