Sunday, September 19, 2021
Home Experience & Advice When the going gets tough…

When the going gets tough…

Lee Jia Nian graduated with a diploma in human resource with highest honours earlier in 2015. He shared with everyone seven things that kept him motivated through the tough times, and will hopefully help you through yours.

Me, Myself and I
Many people tend to forget about themselves when contemplating about their major life decisions and outcomes ( Especially when they’ve just graduated from high school; ala a certain someone, me, duh ).

Eventually there will be a time when a person realizes that he/she has to be completely honest with themselves in order to feel free; often times people feel as if they are bound and shackled to a life of not knowing what to do, uncertainty and unmet expectations; and no one should be made to feel that way.

We should always remember to stay true to our roots; have an anchor that we can always go back to no matter how far we wander out into the world. Never ever lose your true intentions and beliefs as a person and always do a lil soul searching if you need; It can do wonders for you!

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of these things, and this brings me to the next point.

People (aka Friends)
The human beings that you choose to surround yourself with will ultimately shape the way you think, breathe and act. This is especially true after high school. No longer are there times where you’re good pals with everyone; you’ll actually see who are the ones that actually bother and care about you.

The real friends that you should keep near and dear are the ones that are there with you through the good, the bad and especially, the ugly; the ones that can offer you advice that you can see eye-to-eye on and vice versa; the ones that motivate you to be a better version of yourself.

These are real keepers, so don’t ever let them go if you find them!

The End
Having a goal and objective is pretty much part and parcel of life. I’m sure that each and every one of us had our sights set on many things ( being a doctor maybe? Ring any bells? ), and there were some that slipped from our grasps.

Having an end in mind even before we begin can help us tremendously. It helps to give us a sense of direction and motivation. Kind of like the light at the end of the (ridiculously long) tunnel ya know? It’s important that we don’t lose track of our ultimate goal and that we continue on the path regardless of the difficulty.

Wants and Needs
This is simple. We have things we want; we have things we need. Got it? Nope.Turns out this can actually be pretty confusing. We often become blinded by many other factors in our lives that a simple want can turn into a horribly-fueled need.

Sometimes things are simple, it’s just people who overly complicate things. Coupled with how society views wants and needs, we feel pressured into doing what everyone else is doing and end up comparing ourselves with others and this starts to skew the way we think.

Just because someone else has something better that serves the same purpose does not make it any different. Even if you drive a Ferrari or Proton, the road you travel on is still the same; your destination is the same. Even if you wear a Rolex or Casio, time still runs the same.

So let’s just look at things from a basic level people!

Perceptions
Everyone is different. Period. Like they say, ‘haters gonna hate’. Regardless of what you say, there will always be people with similar mindsets and conversely, those who will outright oppose your idea and everything in-between.

It’s important to be open to new ways of thinking, but at the same time, there is a need to know how to discern certain things. It’s critical that you filter out what helps you and what doesn’t, if not it could actually do more harm than good.

Although there is no harm in seeing things from a different view, we might not be able to fully understand someone’s point of view completely and might end up taking it the wrong way.

So please be weary and try to see things from the other’s point of view, if you can’t see eye to eye on it, always remember to be civil and agree to disagree when needed.

Structure
There are two kinds of people – the ones who crave structure and the ones who wing it. Now I’m not saying that there are no in-betweens, it’s just that the majority of people (who I’ve met) are either, or.

It’s definitely good to have some sort of plan/structure in life, but it might actually be a limiting factor. Some people (like me) are overly structured, and we leave no room for exceptions; and as a result we may be disappointed when things don’t go as planned.

Life is uncertain people and hence we need to have a good balance of direction while maintaining a certain degree of flexibility if (hopefully not) things go south.

The urge to change
This is my final and probably, the most important point on this list. No one can convince you to change more than yourself. I’ve seen many friends run into ruts and get out of it due to the willingness to change by themselves or stay in an endless cycle of self-destruction due to the lack of it.

Self-motivation and hope in a better you can be the most powerful driving force in the universe. Even though you may not see it now, but having the conviction to change already means that you’re ready for something bigger, something better and something meaningful.

Undertaking this task can be an insurmountable heap of work, but in the end, you know you’ll be better for it. Just trust yourself, it might come on at a whims notice, but just the thought of changing for the better can often be the start of a beautiful journey.

So when life gets you down, remember not to frown! Take the experiences as you go along and never forget them. There is always something positive to take away each time.

Written by: Peh Xin Ying

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