A child who normally attack other person as there are always have a goal and a reason to do so. People are borne with genes for attack, both men and women have, because since ancient times, in order to survive, many primitive emotions must be developed and passed on from generation to generation. For example, “fear” is a primitive emotion developed for survival. When you see dangerous things, you will feel afraid and escape to save your life. “Attack” is also a survival behavior derived from fear.
However due to current civilized society, these primitive emotions and behaviors gradually become useless and sometimes become disasters. Therefore, in the process of socialization, they are suppressed through acquired education.
Parents need to understand the purpose of a child’s aggressive behavior. If your children are having the following actions such as attacking people, fighting or physical attack, they are considered aggressive behaviors. A child’s aggressive behavior often happen after one and a half years of age and before the age of 3. Because the language development of a child at the age of 1 and 2 is not yet mature, their emotional development will be ahead of him. Therefore, when he feels that he is angry and unreasonable, he will use hands to express dissatisfaction and vent pressure.
Before the age of 2, children’s opportunities to interact with other people gradually increase, but they are still the “self-centered period.” In everything, their own ideas are the priority and they will not consider others. If they want something but can’t grab it, they may become aggressive such as hitting people and pushing people.
After the age of 3 or 4, children’s oral expression skills are greatly improved, he can respond to emotion and thoughts by speaking, so the physical aggressive behavior will gradually decrease. If the child reaches the age of 3 or 4, he still hurts others. Parents must actively intervene in correcting their behaviors, so they will not develop into a habit, which will cause more problems in kindergarten.
In today’s society where the consciousness of “education love” is on the rise, parents have to become more and more gentle towards their children, even to the point where parents do not punish their children, and children hit their parents in turn. I watched a video where a mom accidentally pulled the child’s hair while changing the child’s clothes. The child immediately went mad, thumping, kicking, and squeezing the mum but this mom just smiled gently.
Children hit their own parents, because most of them are too spoiled. Adult may feel that children’s beating is not painful and the nature will improve. Therefore, even if the child refuses to say sorry, he will give up and will not be punished, but it helps the child to develop a bad habit in the long run. When the bad habit become bigger, the harder it is to change it. You can only ask the child to correct his behavior when it hurts or causes serious problem.
Hence how to correct their behavior when they are young? Parenting is important and parent should teach them they are responsible for the consequences because of their actions. For example, “If you hit him, he will be injured. If he is injured, he will be sent to the hospital for painful injection. His parents will also be very angry and come to us to settle the problems. We all will be scolded and lose a lot of money. There will be no money to buy toys for you.”
Punishment for your children is not just hitting or scolding them randomly. Punishment is an act to made your children know their action had created a very serious problem and they have to bear the consequences upon their action and to made sure that they will never do it again. It is important to teach our children to know what is right or wrong by their own decision. For example, punishment may be executed by letting your children say sorry to the person he/she hurt and couldn’t touch video games for a week. It is important to made them regret themselves because of their actions and the reasons behind it.
If your children are hitting you, as a parent, you shouldn’t just smile and let them have the way they want, we should let them know that we are injured and the seriousness of injuring others is bad. Some parent may be short tempered and punishing them with violence will have a negative effect on their child. They will learn from their parent’s violent action. Hence parents must control their own emotion when teaching their children.